Test Match Special

Working from home

Allows me to listen

To Test Match Special.

I like it.

Jonathan Agnew,

Or Aggers, as he is known,

Should read some audiobooks

As his voice is quite reassuring,

And relaxing,

Except when he gets excited,

Such as when Jimmy Anderson takes a wicket

Or Joe Root scores a hundred.

Jeremy Coney talked about lunch

During the first Test.

He said he had a lovely lunch,

Although it seemed to consist

Of the same watermelon salad

Provided on day one.

I can only suggest that the caterers at Lord’s

Lack some imagination.

What I enjoy most about TMS

Is the sheer, unbridled enthusiasm

Shown by Jim Maxwell

Whenever Australia come to England.

At one minute to midday

His voice becomes animated

And he takes a deep breath to announce

That it’s time for the Shipping Forecast.

I have a digital radio,

Which means I don’t have to listen on long-wave

So thankfully my coverage

Remains uninterrupted.

The Power Washer Club

On our street,

Everyone owns a power washer.

On our Street,

Everyone takes turns to try and waste the most water.

On Mondays it's the guy across the road.

On Tuesdays it's the man on the corner.

Wednesday is Barry's turn, he likes to clean his car.

On Thursday it's usually our next-door neighbour,

But this week he's on holiday in Cumbria.

So next-door-but-one has taken responsibility and hosed his driveway.

Friday's washer is Steve,

And Saturday seems to be the turn of everyone else.

Sunday is no day of rest,

As the bloke opposite brings out his power washer.

I am not a member of the Power Washer Club.

We did buy one ages ago,

But I think we used it just the once.